All the books about parenting make the point that nothing can replace the gift of self to the child. A gift of self is expressed in attention, listening with your heart as well as your ears, sharing time, going to church together, praying together, and hearing your child’s prayers.
We all know today, giving of yourself is not something people talk about and encourage. Often, the onus is on parents and adults to show children their “work ethic” in all endeavors. Over-time, weekends, evenings – all time that could be spent nurturing a relationship – is instead spent chasing ambition and running from the fear of becoming obsolete. But that image, that of the workaholic, does not help you grow in spirit or even become a successful role model to your children.
Rather, children grow in character when you give them the time to become a part of your life: when they see you caring for an elderly relative or neighbor, when they see you offering time in prayer, in adoration or in support of your parish. In those few hours which you have away from work, you must make a special effort to be with your family whether it is parents, children, or spouse.
God, too, wants your gift of self. He wants you to spend time with Him, thinking about Him, finding ways to live in His presence. It is easier said than done, for certain. Saints have often referred to their time with our Lord as “wasting time with God” – thinking about God but even more importantly, knowing and explaining to our children and grandchildren that we live in His presence always. He is with us as we wait in line for coffee, when we are fighting traffic to get to work, and when we are consoling someone who is lost or has lost a loved one.
Working on our earthly and eternal relationships must take priority over the television, our smartphones, or tablets. Making the mysterious, personal presence of God welcome in our hearts and allowing that ever-growing relationship with the Lord to free us and shape our lives.
Surprisingly we will have MORE time for important relationships with others when we put God at the center of our lives. He will remind us that giving of ourselves is what brings us true joy and peace.
The ways of growing in our relationship with God are as varied as we are as individuals. Try going to daily Mass, there is usually a noon one, or use your lunch hour. How about praying an additional decade of the rosary every evening with one intention in your heart? These are other ways to allow God to become a prominent part of your every day.
