Those who have been hurt by another often say, “I will forgive, but I will never forget.” Unfortunately, this expression is contrary to the Christian way of living. 

Rather, we must take our cue from the Book of Psalms: “As far as the East is from the West, so far have I put your sins away from me.”  Once our sins have been confessed and forgiven, the Lord allows them to slip from memory. 

Certainly, this is a difficult thing to do because we cannot control our memory. Past slights and transgressions against us do come to mind, whether we like it or not. Sometimes, those hurts and betrayals come barreling back into memory without invitation, triggering feelings of anger and resentment. 

So what are we to do in these moments? Jesus teaches us the answer to this question, as well: “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

We may not be able to control when those memories and feelings arise, but we can decide what to do with them. 

As Christians, we should acknowledge the feelings we have and then pray for the person or people who have hurt us. Isn’t that what Jesus did from the cross? He experienced the pain and loneliness of betrayal by Judas and abandoned by His Apostles but then prayed for those who were torturing Him.

When Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do,” he was speaking of all of humanity. Every person ever created (except the Virgin Mary) has sinned and betrayed Him in some way. But Jesus puts those sins away from Himself and accepts us back into the fold when we acknowledge our sinfulness. 

When we arrive in Heaven, our forgiveness will be complete and we will willingly forget what others have done to us, since we also will experience the fullness of God’s mercy. Our lives and our faith will be fulfilled. As it was for Jesus, the memories of the harms we have endured will fade into the ocean of mercy. In the meantime, our memories will continue to be part of who we are.

This week, let us become aware of our memories of harms done to us, accept them as truths of the past, and pray for those who have hurt us.